You are not the heaviness
sitting inside of you.
You are not the battlefield
where the bodies fall,
and you are not the sound of cannons
breaking the sky open.
You are what happens after the war.
The autumn weather in Iceland can be crappy for weeks at a time. You endure torrential downpours, hail storms, gale-force winds, and freezing temperatures. It makes you question why you’re there.
But every once in awhile, the clouds break and you’re rewarded with a view like this.
While the aurora borealis dance overhead, no answer is needed as the question recedes into the background.
In that moment, you experience magic.
Without you I wander aimlessly unsure what to do. No seriously. . I’m standing looking emptily at my door because I don’t know where I want to eat. When you are around things just fall into place effortlessly. You are my direction.
"Pet, what do you want for dinner?"
"I don’t want pizza or Mexican."
….They know that the doing matters more than the attainment or reward, that to serve in this selfless way is to be free.
Peter Matthiessen “The Snow Leopard”
That hit home harder than I would’ve like.
Me, too, Boo. The hardest part, for me, is accepting that you weren’t wrong all those times, that what you felt you really did feel and the experiences were real and not your fault. I still struggle.
She rested her head against his and felt, for the first time, what she would often feel with him: a self-affection. He made her like herself. With him, she was at ease; her skin felt as though it was her right size.
Just a reminder that you’re whole without someone else. You are not a fraction. You’re a complete master piece all by yourself and you do not need anyone else to validate your existence.